I went to this bar today, the Silver Ostrich Pub, just to see what people looked like since I haven't seen people for a while. I was just gonna get a beer and fuck off since the Weather Channel told me that everything that was made of water was supposedly going to turn into ice by 10:00 pm including the road and the rodentia. So I quickly ordered a beer and they asked me, Sir, do you need a menu, and I said sure, because, hey why not look at the menu while I was drinking. So I looked at the menu for a while and the waitress came over and asked me if I was ready to order and I was about to say no, I did not wish for food, but that is when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this phrase on the menu that said, "Sauted Kangaroo in Dijon sauce" and I said to myself, listen Mac, let's be honest, with your fast fading age and the relatively low life expectancy of people who drink and drive on PA highway 309, do you really think you're gonna find yourself down under at any point in the future?
And predictably, the answer was no. So, I grabbed this opportunity to taste the roo. Yes yes, I am ready to order, said I, I want the roo, the roo with the dijon. However, I have a question : Is this actually the roo or just imitation roo, you know, like the flesh of the muskrat infused with roo pheromones? No, I was assured, it was indeed authentic roo. Bring it on, I said. Let us feast.
Eventually the roo came out smothered in brown dijon and shredded lettuce. I severed one of the roo pieces with the aid of a steak knife that I was provided and hauled into it. Let me say this right off the bat. The roo did not guide me to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The roo was okay. It was deftly cooked and was bereft of gut and gristle. However, that was the only kind thing that could be said about it. It had a gamy fishy taste that was more smell than taste. Perhaps it was the culinary crew of the Silver Ostrich pub that was more to blame than the deliciousness of the roo. But basically what I am saying is this : If you have a choice between tasting the roo on PA 309 or traveling to Australia, please choose the latter. I am sure the roo is tastier down under.
7 comments:
Didn't they have ostrich meat on the menu? That would have been a wiser choice.
I have had roo steaks and roo suasages down here. Steaks are ok at the best, bit fibrous for my taste. Suasages were yuk ! Someone told me the other day to try a roo tail sometime. Perhaps they taste better only when you go into the outback and hunt one youserlf.
Given that the quality of beef, lamb and chicken is so much better down here compared to the states, I see no reason to consume Kangaroos just because they exist on this island.
People do swear by emu meat though.
anjali : Actually it's called something else. I just call it the Silver Ostrich pub to protect its privacy. And also because I hate ostriches.
bongo : I was hoping you would weigh in with your opinion as a roo insider. I think the problem with roo meat might be its less fat content. But since you are telling me roo meat sucks in general, I shall steer clear of it entirely from now on.
Roo, eh? Hope your wife's coming back soon.
I concur, lonestar. I am thinking of initiating a petition to bring her back.
opinion as a roo insider
To clarify just in case someone gets ideas: I don't, never have (or will in future) lived inside of a kangaroo, either in the pouch or anyplace else.
I totally understand Gawker. My sojourn as a temporary loner is finally over. The wife's on the way back from the mother land.
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