Are you like me, someone who periodically turns around and flashes a beam on the receding outline of his life to realize that he's accomplished nothing of significant worth in his thirty odd years on this planet? Do you often feel that your life turned out to be, if not a lemon, at least a nectarine and wonder whether you should ask for your money back? If so, boy, do I have a solution for you.
All you have to do is find one trivial thing you do successfully every day, add the number of times you've been doing it over the years and there you go, you ain't a failure any more. In my case, it's walking up and down stairs. I have been doing this continuously without falling down for the past eight years of my life. Let's do the math.
Each day at work, I climb thirty-five stairs four times a day.
35 x 4 = 140 stairs a day.
I do this five days a week.
140 x 5 = 700 stairs a week.
Let's say fifty weeks a year.
700 x 50 = 35,000 stairs a year.
For the past eight years.
35,000 x 8 = 2,80,000 stairs.
So to recap, I have climbed 2,80,000 stairs without falling down even once. Wow. Just, wow. I'm blown away. Seriously, that is quite an achievement. To give you some perspective on how huge this is, consider that in England, every year, over a 100,000 people are treated for injuries caused by falling down stairs. Have you ever listened to 100,000 people falling down stairs? It's quite a racket. And these are only the folks who were man (or woman) enough to admit that they fell down stairs and drove themselves to the hospital. If you consider that the difference between the number of people who masturbate and those who admit to it is a factor of five and apply that factor to this case, it turns out that over 500,000 Brits fall down stairs every year. And these are all fine, upstanding, successful people who you once thought were better than you.
But I have successfully navigated 2,80,000 stairs without taking a single tumble. I'm proud of this feat. More so because I'm a stair-runner, not a stair-walker. My mother was right. I am indeed special.
So off you go, all you special people out there and start crunching those numbers. Whether it is your ability to sit on the same chair an umpteen number of times without breaking its legs or opening a door without pulling it off its hinges or tying your shoelaces without snapping them in half (something which I suck at), go find something you are very successful at and be happy.
6 comments:
ROFL! I'll tell you what makes you even more special. The number of emails you've sent without addressing them to your boss with the heading "You're an asshole!" Many people suffer poverty because of this one email. Obviously, suffering is worse than death.
you seem very jobless my dear friend.
You're such a laugh :D Guaranteed chuckles every time I read your blog!
karthik : That's true. Luckily, now with Google's undo send feature, you can call your boss an asshole as often as you want.
zambezi : Indeed, job is lacking hereabouts.
sherene : Thank you. As they say, chuckling is the third best medicine, after laughter and actual medicine.
really cool...you made my day!!! I was feeling a bit down and u put life in a entirely new perspective :)
'thirty odd years on this planet'.. hmm.. I always imagined you were the mid-forties type.. I know, I know.. that was rude, but just wondering out loud, you know?
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