Monday, March 23, 2009

For Dummies

This weekend, as I was foraging in Borders, I saw this book called "Forensics for Dummies". It made me question whether there really are a lot of people hovering around a dead body, thinking, "Fuck 911, I'm gonna investigate this one on my own".

One more thing about the "For Dummies" series of books. Most people who buy these books believe they are not really dummies. And that the reason they are buying this book is because they just want to be taught that topic as if they were a dummy. Well my friend, I hate to burst your bubble, but if you need to be taught like you were a dummy, chances are you actually are a dummy. So rest your mind in ease because you are indeed getting value for your money.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit that I am currently reading the book "Mutual Funds for Dummies". After reading this book, I feel there should be a special series of books for people like me called "For Dummies who are also afflicted by ADD". These books should go slow enough for one to grasp the subject matter, but also not so slow that one reaches for the TV remote.

One book that I really don't want to see in a bookstore is "Commercial Airline Piloting for Dummies". I hope they don't publish that one. Now I know that we live in a politically correct world where everything is supposedly possible for everybody regardless of gender, sexual orientation and mental capacity, but honestly, I would strongly discourage dummies from wanting to assume control of a commercial airliner. Not just dummies, but even people unsure about their dummy status, people who might buy this book just to be on the safe side. When I fly, I want somebody in control of the plane who is absolutely 100% sure that he is not a dummy. While landing the plane, I don't want the pilot going, "Hmmmm...My instructions were to land on runway 2, but I might be a dummy and reading those instructions wrong so maybe I should land on runway 3". The end result might be a landing on runway 2.5. Definitely not a good idea to publish this book.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I liked your post about the "For Dummies" book series. You and your readers might like this video that a friend sent me. It's a Bollywood version of an iTunes spot. Keep up the good work blogging!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNhBwA7BLho

- Kiran

Anonymous said...

Like the penguin in Madagascar movie?

gawker said...

Kiran : wokay.

Lara : Haven't seen the movie. But if it has penguins in it, I shall probably see it.