Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Pepsi One

Here is something I do not quite understand. What is with that one calorie in Pepsi One? A regular can of Pepsi contains 150 calories. Pepsi One contains 1 calorie. So are the folks in Pepsi claiming that they managed to remove 149 of those pesky calories, but just gave up on that final remaining one? Was it a stubborn calorie, trying to cling to the can and not letting go, infused with a passion to live that was, in part, reinforced by its knowledge of being the only remaining survivor of its species?

Or was it that the scientist, who was busy trying to decarb the beakerful of Pepsi in his research lab, disposed of the final calorie and then just as he was about to call it a day, observed that a fly had fallen into the liquid and since he was just too tired to fish it out, decided to add it to the formula? Is that where the single calorie came from?

But in any event, shouldn't Pepsi have tried to find out what the deal was with this one very tenacious calorie and put in some extra efforts behind eliminating it? It kinda looks very sloppy and unprofessional on the part of Pepsi that not only did they not succeed in removing that calorie, they even named the final product Pepsi One as if to highlight their singular lack of interest in being perfectionists.

Imagine if Microsoft were to release an operating system called "Windows One", the explanation being "We removed pretty much all the bugs in the previous version except one. We know what it is and we would have fixed it but we really couldn't be bothered."


RobRoy said...

Pepsi's laboratory was picketed by environmental rights activists citing that the last Pepsi Calorie was an endangered species and should be protected.

Clearly you didn't grow up during the Cola Wars. Oh, the foolishness.

K said...

Ohhhh... thats why they called it Windows95/98. Now I guess they just can't tell us the numbers with XP and Vista.
I guess the copyrighters felt pepsi Zero would have had 'Zero' success.

Raj said...

Actually, 'pepsi one calorie' is a cryptic anagram for 'aesop line recipe". It is not meant for human consumption at all.

greatbong said...

And even their big bottles have one calorie. This is like the Rs 101 gift cheques...you never see Rs 100 ones right? The power of the 1.

gawker said...

robroy : yeah i missed the cola wars. i was in india when they were warring in the US and when I came to the US they began warring in India.

k : Ah but you are wrong. Coke has since then come out with coke zero, thus proving that it should have been easy to get rid of that damn solitary calorie.

raj : You might be correct, I tried drinking it once and it tasted like a cryptic anagram.

greatbong : that is an interesting point. I wonder if there's any money to be made out of it.

Anonymous said...

'Coz they probably had a focus group and the name 'Pepsi Zero' made the consumers think like they were being cheated (this is the American consumer we are talking about).

Or perhaps they just wanted to go one up on Coke (Coca Cola Zero).

Sagnik Nandy said...

very obsevrant and nice :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

I think they left it there much like a white dot on a blackboard... contrast against zero, see! :D

You have a great blog here... will keep visiting!

Anurag said...

Dude, this is your best post ever. You should try stand up comedy. But then, typing while standing up is a little uncomfortable.

Anonymous said...

no pepsi for you !

gawker said...

bongo : But didn't coke zero arrive after pepsi one?

sagnik : Thank you, appreciate it

supremus : isn't it coke zero? and now coke can claim to have removed the calorie pepsi couldnt

sudipta : thank you and welcome.

anurag : Thanks man. I tried reading my posts aloud standing up but I got so bored I began to heckle myself. Finally I had to call a bouncer to throw me out.

slime : gah i don't like pepsi anyways.

zambezi said...

you can come and stay with me for a few days if you want. I would hate for you to be a victim of nature.

zambezi said...

my previous comment was for the latest post about the flood. i put in the wrong place.

Alpha said...

when they use recycled cans, they can't wash all teh calories out.

gawker said...

zambezi : its ok the flood is gone and it was in my workplace only anyways and i dont live in my office but thank you for the invitation.

alpha : you should always wash your cans before recycling. didn't they teach you that in recycling school?

Deepak Shenoy said...

i think pepsi will retort with a can that's so difficult to open they'll call it Pepsi minus150, "Takes a hundred and fifty calories offa you".

Then coke will sell coke zero as "equivalent to two pepsis - regular and minus150, added up".

Then pepsi and coke will shoot each other and we'll all have to drink Limca. Such good luck.