Friday, May 01, 2009

Mules and stuff

Some news stories are just so picture perfect, you thank your lucky stars that you had the privilege of bearing witness as they were reported. Here's one about a Georgia candidate for governor who admitted to having sex with a mule. His name? Neal Horsley. You couldn't ask for anything more. You could try, but you really shouldn't. Leave the powers that be in peace for a while.

Apparently, Mr. Horsley even justified his mule intimacy. “When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule,” he said, adding, “You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually.” I'm guessing that whenever Neal showed up in town, everything would come to a screeching stop. Public alerts would be issued. "Nobody move, Motion Sensor Neal is on the prowl".

What's also funny is that Mr Horsley also made a statement saying that he would be willing to kill his son in the cause of overturning Roe vs Wade. But that's not ha ha funny, so we won't discuss it any further.


Shannon said...

What the what???? I have no words. I read, and re-read, and re-re-read the article trying to find a way to understand what the crap was happening, but to no avail. As a republican Christian from Georgia, all I feel is confusion and shame. Un.Be.Lievable. Thank you for ruining my day. I will be disturbed about this for some time. I'm sure I will laugh about this someday?

Manchus said...


What is this person doing outside of a jail??? Shouldn't he be locked up and be serving lifetime??

Where is PETA when they should be whipping the ass of this guy???

Anonymous said...

Is this what they mean by "animal passion"? hehehe

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Errmmm ... isn't that a spoof article? On RAW, after all.

A few quick points.
1 - You better be careful mentioning the Prophet (you know which one I mean).
2 - Kindle be damned, why are you not syndicated yet?
3 - I once posted just to say you're the funniest man on the Net. I may have been wrong. You could be Nos. 1 to 5.


skar said...

This is indeed perfect! :)) I'm sure you are aware of this:


gawker said...

Shannon : Come on now, you're republican and you didn't know about these people? Perhaps you should laugh about it today itself because I'm sure these people have more stuff waiting to be laughed at in the future.

Manchus : Peta is busy protesting dog violence in video games. There's no one to stand up for the mule community.

anonymous : Yes. Also, I didn't know what the phrase "mule-fucking" meant, but now I know.

JAP : I'm taking all necessary precautions. I wear thick collars, I stay away from machete-wielders and I make sure my readership remains severely limited so as to avoid unnecessary exposure.

Much thanks for the compliments, and I do suffer from multiple personality disorder.

Karthik : Donkeys? Come on. Those are for losers. Real men go for mules.