Goddamn my back hurts. I've had lower back problems ever since I began working out but something happened yesterday to make it hurt really bad. It all began when I was watching that AAMCO commercial on TV with this cool rockstar dude wearing a cowboy hat who was singing, "My life is crazy, I'm on the go, I can't stop and take it slow". And I said to myself, boy, I wish my life would be as fulfilling and jam-packed with crazy as this guy's, but I'm never on the go and I'm taking it awfully slow with my evening naps, baseball games, music and beer. I realized that if I wanted to be an asshole wearing a cowboy hat who sings to people how busy he is with all the important stuff he's currently involved in, my first order of business should be to stop taking it so fucking slow.
So yesterday evening, after coming home from work, I shifted into high gear. First, I cleared my driveway of all grass clippings that were a result of my weekend lawn mowing activities. Then, I watered my deck plants. Yeah man, I was on the freakin' go. After that, I vacuumed the first floor of my house and cleaned out my bird feeder. And finally, just as I was thinking my life couldn't get any crazier, I went out into my backyard and added fertilizer to my lawn. With weed killer!! I was certainly not taking it slow.
That's when my back gave out. It was puzzling because the cowboy's song hadn't mentioned anything about back ailments. And then I started thinking, you know, when he was talking about his life being crazy, he might not have been referring to vacuuming, watering or fertilizing. Perhaps it was something more interesting. Like going camping with his girlfriend in Alaska and killing a grizzly bear with his guitar. But I'm not sure I would be up to such craziness in my life. Also, I own an acoustic guitar that wouldn't kill a fly. I would probably cut myself with a guitar string and be the laughing stock of the entire animal kingdom.
So I went back to my comfortable sofa, baseball game and beer. I'm done with being on the go. Next time the commercial plays, I'll just change the channel. Or watch the Kingsford charcoal commercial with those lazy fuckers hanging out on the highway who advise you, screw that AAMCO guy, just "slow down and grill".
23 comments:
you can add the NBA and make your life a tad crazier, while not moving your butt from the sofa.
-Naveen.
I haven't watched the NBA all year so getting up to speed on what's happening, nah, too much work.
Hope you feel better soon G.
you flipping wuss. i guess yout lazy ass wont be joining me on june 6th.
mow around the perimeter moving in, while throwing the clippings back in the lawn. That way u dont have to be on th ego, its the clippings that broke your back. Or get the mulching mower. i got that.
AD
see. this is why i dont own a tv.
Sujatha : Thanks, appreciate it.
zambezi : I will if you raise the money for me.
bhad : I do have a mulching mower. But something's wrong with it lately because it keeps throwing out the clippings from the bag.
Rukmani : Why not? How do you know which day it is?
I tried following your example. After plonking on my butt on the couch for two hours and drinking five bottles of beer, I was made aware of the fact that NBA doesn't telecast all that much in India. I have to go back to my under-privileged lifestyle of beer with tennis now.
Also, just for the record, I have a back problem too. I played it safe and bought an apartment without a single green leaf in sight, in order not to be tempted to try gardening.
hmm i got mulching mower and no bag. wonder if removeing the bag will work?
AD
Anurag : I love my green. In fact, when I lie groaning on my sofa, wishing my back would fly up to heaven, leaving me behind, my green is the only thing that keeps me alive.
bhad : What is a mulching mower? Isn't that the one that gathers clippings in a bag so you can mulch them? Where do the clippings go otherwise?
Mulching mower would be one which mulches the clippings by itself so you dont have to do crap.
If you put a pag, it will gather the clippings and you can do whatever with the clippings.
If you don't put the bag it mulches the clippings back into the lawn by itself.
AD
What does "mulches the clippings" mean? Mine either throws the clippings back on the lawn and the driveway or gathers it in a bag if I attach the bag. Currently, it is throwing things on the lawn and driveway even when I attach the bag, which is the problem. I think it is because I'm cutting my lawn when it is too tall.
Why do you want to collect the clippings? AD
http://landscaping.about.com/cs/giftideas1/f/mulching_mowers.htm
I guess I don't have a mulching mower then. It just cuts the grass and throws the clippings back on the lawn. Which is why I use a bag.
Therefore, I collect clippings in the bag in order to dispose of them.
u need a mulching mower. its the shizz. AD
I read somewhere on the internet that I should mow slowly and that might be the reason for my grass not being mulched properly. I don't want to buy a new mower. I got this one free from the previous owners.
wtf is wrong with the both of you?
"Hand-me-down mulching mowers" is a good name for a rock band, as Dave Barry would say.
zambezi : What would you like to talk about...picking apples?
Anurag : I agree. Although it would HAVE to be a rockabilly band.
talking about ping pong .. i am contemplating on buying a table. i got no one to play though .. my wife said she would play but she hasn't ever .. and not a fan ..
AD
I have the same problem.....But my office people are thinking about getting a ping pong table in the office and putting it a room and playing during lunch hour. Lets see if it works out.
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