Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Student of the month

Oftentimes you see these moms and dads driving around with "My child is the Student of the Month at Our Lady of the Upright Cross school" stickers on their SUVs. In fact, you see so many of these proud parents that it seems as if you would have to drive around for hours on end in order to find a car containing a parent whose kid is NOT the student of the month.

Now I'm not saying that these children aren't worthy of the recognition they recieve from virtual strangers who happen to have braked and almost hit their parent's car carrying this sticker on its back. But what I would like to know is, if there exists any oversight on the part of the sticker administering authorities to make sure that these stickers are removed once the month of celebration is past and the student of the previous month has surrendered the award to the student of this month.

For I can't help but think that for every parent driving around with an expired sticker falsely boasting of a son or daughter who's already handed over the torch, there's another parent whom he's depriving of some well-earned glory, a parent whose kid is not being subjected to the jealous adulation he deserves for excellence in the field of good studenting. If no one ever removed their sticker once the month in question is over, what is someone like me, who would like to bestow congratulatory stares upon the current student of the month, expected to do when he sees a "student of the month" sticker adorning every car on the road? If every parent's child in the world were to be special all the time, wouldn't it kill the very specialness of being special?

To resolve this issue, I propose two things. Firstly, using the annual inspection sticker on cars as a template, add the month and year of validity to the "student of the month" sticker in order to discourage abuse. Secondly, every cop patrolling the streets should make sure that when he stops someone for speeding, along with the license, registration and proof of insurance, the "student of the month" sticker is also given a cursory inspection to determine whether it has overstayed its period of validity. Stiff penalties should be imposed upon parents who are found to have committed a violation. Along with a 2 year blanket ban on applying for a new sticker, the next one earned should contain a legible disclaimer stating "I overstayed the previous sticker and I am a cheat".

Only then will the "Student of the Month" award regain its lost prestige and the parents of children who've actually earned this distinction get the respect in society that they deserve.


Vee Cee said...

An even better suggestion would be to pass a law stating that such stickers be made out of a substance that will self-destruct after a month (Mission Impossible style). Not only that, while self-destructing, instead of smoke, it will release a gas that will make the inside of the car smell like someone let one rip!

Alpha said...

gawker: At last someone with a scruples who'll take up such important issues for betterment of society. Gawker for Congress, I say! Now to address the issue of Word Verification in random blogs... (i try, i try)

vc, keep your fantasies to yourself or drive around a sewer plant to get desired effect. very soon your kids will be creating enuf ruckus to have you stick these stickers..for I think no self respecting parent would do it willingly.

Vee Cee said...

alpha - watch it! seeing as how you are going to end up in the same state as gawker, i'll join hands with gawker when he runs for congress and wins. then we'll pass the law especially for you.
gawker - sorry for hijacking your blog.

Alpha said...

vc, small doubt. why same state as gawker? (solid as opposed to gaseous as you)..why join hands? what law? what hijack?

gawker tries to keep away spammers like us..this is to prove it really isn't working.

Vee Cee said...

'state' - Pennsylvania (where the city of Pittsburgh is located).
what law? - read my 1st comment.

gawker said...

Is it safe to enter the room now

Unknown said...

lol. you'se funny, man.