Actual things I've said :
To CEO of the last company I worked for in his house on Turkey Hill road : "So, like, are we on a hill right now?"
To a cop who pulled me over doing 75 in a 45 mph zone : "Officer, I was speeding because I wanted to catch the light before it turned red."
Actual things I've seen on the news :
NBC news teaser : "A body was found in a local cemetery. Police are still investigating."
ABC news teaser : "In breaking news, a local woman gave birth on the Vine Street Expressway. Our camera crew went behind the scenes to investigate."