When celebrity professionals pass away while at work, it's very common for people to comment, "Well, at least he died doing something he loved the most". Surely these people had at least one thing in their life they loved more than their work? How about sex? Or snorting coke? I wonder how many celebrities died on their toilet seat, reading a pornographic magazine and had the media go, "Well at least he died doing what he loved the most."
And why's that a good thing anyways? If you were doing something you really loved, wouldn't you be pissed as heck if you were to suddenly pop off? It's like, you're sitting in your studio, painting a masterpiece that Bill Gates has agreed to purchase from you in return for half a share in Windows 7 profits and you're so goddamn happy, you're loving every minute of it and just as you're about to put the finishing touches on your work by painting the head on that sweet innocent moose calf, BAM, your palette turns into an urn of nectar, your paintbrush into a harp and you feel something fluttering on your back which, as it turns out, are wings. You feel like you've died and gone to heaven and you really have. You're an angel.
And then you remember your unfinished masterpiece with the now permanently headless moose calf and you go looking for God to get some answers. You ask Him, "Why God, why me?" And God replies, "Well son, you looked like you were deriving so much enjoyment out of what you were doing right there, I felt that it was a great time for you to die". And you're all like, "What the fuck God, are you a complete idiot, why would you do something like that?" And God, doing His thundering Christopher Lee impression that he performs at parties nowadays to considerable critical acclaim, replies, "Silence fool, it is my world to fuck around with, now go play that harp like your life depended on it". Here, God would probably laugh his stupid face off because God is a fan of his own funny. Asshole.
Me, I want to die doing something I really really hate. Nothing would give me more satisfaction. Could be I'm shoveling someone else's shit, giving a cow a colonoscopy or trying to fix a memory leak in somebody else's software code, if I were to die at that moment, it would be with a fucking smile on my face. And really Society, I want you to be happy for me. I want you to look back at my life and say, "Boy, that guy's lucky, he died doing something that he really really hated. Good for him."
12 comments:
you see, I do not think that I want to die while doing something I hate because I would be really pissed off if I had to go back to finish what I was doing just to please the funny God. And I understand your reason for not wanting to die while doing something that I like. So I would be happy to die while I am doing nothing. See, there is another reason why people want to die in their sleep.
-Naveen
Consider - what if there was no nectar, harp or wings and one was headed to points southernmost when doing something one loved??!! Double bummer!!!
naveen : But I love to sleep. I wouldn't want my sleep to be interrupted by death. As it is, I get very little sleep.
Bea : I don't know, hell sounds fun to me...warm weather, colorful characters. Yeah, there's that little item of perpetual physical abuse from asp-tongued demons but on the whole, it seems like a nice place to spend the rest of your eternity.
Aah - a like minded soul....must admit I had heard the Devil was handsome and charming and often thought his company might prove amusing :)...kinda took the words - "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun" to heart don'tcha know :)....now to hatch a plan to avoid the ppa...
loving it or hating it, I'm not ready to die right now.
Bea : What turned me off heaven was the statement in their brochure touting the total absence of rock music. Can't live with that. Even if it means being dipped in a pot of boiling oil two hours every day.
Lonestar : You know what happened to the last person who said that don't you?
I want to take out a few when I die.. maybe some politicians.
In any case, what makes you come back as a ghost? Dying while doing something you love or hate? Coz I would love to come back as a ghost.
-Sushma
Is this a reference to David Carradine?
You are so funny.Sometimes I think of your posts and laugh later on at completely inappropriate times.
Sushma : You would come back as a ghost exclusively for revenge-seeking purposes. Like, say, you were pushed off a building by your boyfriend and needed to let his current girlfriend know that by entering her body.
anonymous : I would love to take credit, but this post was written before he killed himself.
wallower : Thanks, you know, the best time to laugh is when its most inappropriate.
hehehe...you are hilarious :). My sis sent me your blog link. Thankfully the thought of death has yet to cross my mind. Have been too pre occupied with the recession nonsense.
Thanks to you and your sister. That's true. Hopefully the recession will be over soon and people can start thinking about death once more.
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