Wednesday, October 18, 2006

My proudest moment since high school

Because I have won very few laurels ever since my high school days when winning laurels used to be relatively easy, this week has a special place in my heart. It was this time last year that society recognized my contributions to the cause of civilization by publicly felicitating me. This is what happened.

I had traveled to New Hampshire to train a client in the use of my company's software and as I drove into the Holiday Inn at Concord, NH, I was looking forward to dropping into my bed (after carrying out the mandatory ultra-violet radiation check for semen stains in the room, of course). But when I walked up to the registration desk, gave them my name and told them I had a reservation, I drew a blank. There was no room in my name. And they said that they were full.

I tried to reason with them. I showed them the print-out of the reservation confirmation my company had given me. I showed them my driving license. I removed my glasses in order to validate the brownness of my eyes. Indeed, if they hadn't threatened to call the police, I would even have undressed in order to show them my birthmark. All of this was, however, to no avail.

As I picked up my bags and began to walk out, I spotted a sign near the registration counter. This sign, lavishly decorated, inscribed in a bold font and serenaded by a covey of stingily clad virgins playing the lute said, "Holiday Inn welcomes the guest of the day : xxxxxxxxxx". And there, for all to celebrate and envy, was my name. Oh yes, I was famous. Yet homeless. Walking back to the counter, I pointed to the sign and said, "That is me. I am your guest of the day. This is no way to treat your guest of the day."

Then the confused shuffling of papers began and soon it turned out that I did indeed have a room and because my company had made the booking through Jim's website and not through Bob's, the system had failed to locate my reservation.

Oh but the point is that last year this week, Holiday Inn of Concord, NH went through its roster for the day and after carefully going through my resume which they no doubt obtained through Google, decided that I was worthy enough to be crowned their guest of the day for that day in history.

Thank you, Holiday Inn, I am humbled by this honor. And just so you know, I did put it to good use trying to rid the world of hunger and poverty. I've been doing well financially and my body has gained more than 10 pounds over the past year.


Anonymous said...

Inspite of losing a few pounds over the last week?


Anurag said...

I am sure TOI will cover your achievement pretty soon; after all you are an Indian which has made the whole country proud. :)

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Gawker. But you didn't provide any link! In this Web 2.0 world, if the award announcement does not exist on some site, well, the award itself is of questionable value, isn't it?

Perhaps I can use this opportunity to remind you (and your loyal readers) that it was also this month last year that you and your other blog were featured prominently on Outlook.

RobRoy said...

Do we bow or curtsey? Is the title "majesty" or will "highness" serve? Also, must we always maintain our heads lower than yours, or only at state affairs?

Kimberly El-Sadek said...

Does that mean you get free rooms on that day from now on?

gawker said...

naveen : It's like how if you find a 100 dollar bill, losing a few cents isn't such a big deal.

anurag : no no not the TOI, please. people won't take my accomplishment seriously then.

abi : Thank you, I will look to see if a link exists. If not with Holiday Inn, it should at least exist with the FBI. And thanks for the other link too. But nothing compares with the one in HT where I was depicted as an eggplant. I like that one the best.

robroy : Oh come on, you're just making a big deal out of this whole thing. Bowing is fine.

lumi : sure. just no room key.