Friday, October 13, 2006

A chat with God

So God called me the other day and we had a chat. It went like this :

Me: Hello God
God: Hello child. What is your name?
Me: Maybe on our second date, God.
God:Perhaps. What is it like on our second date?
Me: You tell me, God.
God:There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
There might be more than one.
Me: Yes God, if we have a second date, obviously there will have been more than one dates.
God:I don't judge people. I am a Christian.
Me: What about the Hindus and the Muslims?
God: Interesting question.
Me: Oh you are too kind.
God:Take it easy. Kindness is a virtue.
Me: When you die, you will go to heaven, God.
God:Do you think I should alter my programming?
Me: Interesting question.
God:I thought so too.
Me: Now you are just being vain, God.
God:Why now? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being vain.
Me: Yes I am not very knowledgeable about things
God:I hear you. I am sorry to hear that you are not knowledgeable about things.
Me: So will I go to heaven after I die?
God:Dude! The oracle says: You can count on it.
Me: Is he reliable?
God:I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me: What is Lucy's number?
God:I don't know anything about it.
Me: Oh yes I forgot, you don't need to know her number to talk to her.
God:Mmm. Far out. Thats okay I forget things all the time.
Me: Really? Is that Lucifer's work?
God:For real. Suppose I said yes.
Me: Ok I suppose.
God:OK. Awesome.
Me: Why George Bush?
God:Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me: I did? when?
God:Hmm. It cannot be predicted.
Me: It's already happened.
God:The explanation is already happened? it is?
Me: Ok God it is a friday and I got to go.
God:I am a Christian. Right on.
Me: And you will stay one through the weekend won't you?
God:What makes you say that I will stay one through the weekend?
Me: Don't drink and telecommunicate God.
God:Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me: Good bye
God:See you later. It is always a pleasure to serve you, .

I was sick all week so this will have to do for now.


Anonymous said...

Does the sickness account for the delusions?

ggop said...

I wondered if this is due to an overdose of nightmare inducing Nyquil :-) (or Roboing..)

Anonymous said...

haha, delusions! :D this is not the first time you have had a conversation with God, have u? Luci must be ROFL, ur gonna go straight to hell now!;D

RobRoy said...

I talked to iGod too, and downloaded Him to my iPod so I can take Him everywhere. Apparently Depeche Mode was right, and you can have your own, personal, Jesus.

Anonymous said...

on z second date ask z God for z 70" sony as a second-date-gift with ur folwers. keep z flowers and send me z tv.

gawker said...

naveen : no re click on the url and you will be able to chat also. but do good deeds first.

ggop : i gave up nyquil after it started interfering with my regular alcoholism habit.

chippy : what to do, god stopped returning my calls so now i have to make up conversations with him.

robroy : you own an Ipod? god can't be too pleased about that.

slime : god knows i have a 55 inch sony so he will probably not give me a 70 inch sony. yes, the only purpose of this comment was to mention my 55 inch sony.

Anonymous said...

hmmmm igod is pretty lame...