Friday, October 20, 2006

I am glad I am not wearing Microsoft pants

Although I am now a Firefox user, yesterday I updated my Internet Explorer to version 7.0, just to check it out and I thought it was pretty cool, at least those parts whose coolness I managed to explore within the short time I had dedicated to the exploration. The one new functionality that I was impressed with was the new "clear type" feature which is installed by default and makes every webpage look unclear.

The very first thing that happens during the installation of IE 7.0 is that the installation program looks for internet updates to prevent malicious violation of browser security. Get it? The hacking situation has gotten so bad that Microsoft needs to install security patches for its products even before installing the product itself. It made me empathize with Microsoft because I can now imagine the sheer frustration involved in running a business in a world containing thousands of people who've made it their life's mission to ruin that business by pointing out, abusing and exploiting the various shortcomings of the product.

And then as I was installing the browser, it got me thinking that it is probably a good thing that Microsoft only writes software and does not have a monopoly in industries that supply more basic goods and services, for example, it is to mankind's benefit that Microsoft does not dabble in transportation or food processing or textiles because boy, with all the ill-will directed towards that company, it would be a disaster for people who would be utilizing those goods and services.

Imagine, if Microsoft were to be in the airline business, it would have to fight a constant battle with people trying to sabotage its planes by letting the air out of their tires or pouring sugar in the fuel tank or stealing the landing gear or someone might even impersonate the pilot and after taking off, jump out in a parachute yelling "Microsoft sucks, Fly Unix". It would be a serious inconvenience to air travelers to deal with this crap everytime they fly Microsoft Air.

And it would be even worse if Microsoft were to be the only garment supplier of note in the world. You would be walking down the street, wearing your Microsoft apparel and suddenly a Mac fan would spray your pants with paint, yelling, " Ha Microsoft pants have no defense against paint." Then, Microsoft would release a paint resistant trouser coating and you would have to sit naked inside your apartment while you wait for it to arrive by Microsoft Mail.

And even after installing the anti-paint defense, there would always be that crazed genius who would invent goggles to see through Microsoft trousers. And after you were to install the lead-based non-see-through trouser patch supplied by Microsoft, your continued paranoia would make you suspicious of anyone on the street wearing glasses and force you to hold a hand over your crotch everytime you go out.

And it just wouldn't stop. People would continue to try and highlight the unreliability of Microsoft apparel, they would invent magnets to suck out the buttons off your Microsoft trousers so that you would suddenly find yourself on the subway with your pants around your ankles and then someone else would shoot a gun at you in order to prove that Microsoft trousers aren't bullet proof and then Apple Apparel would broadcast commercials asking consumers to switch to Applewear using the selling point that less people shoot guns at their clothes than Microsoft's.

And then, I finished installing IE 7.0. Now I wait for the attacks to begin.


ggop said...

Wow - I didn't know so many people were out to get Microsoft. Who said only the paranoid survive? ;-)

gg (Solaris/Linux/MacOS user)

Anonymous said...

I paid $1.5 , downloaded and installed Office 2007 a couple of months back. I'm hooked. MS is way ahead of any of the other jokers who try to imitate an Office Suite.

Most of the MS bashing comes from the sheer frustration of the others in not being able to come anywhere near MS in terms of user friendliness or features.

Look at your self ! You are so caught up with what others say abt MS that you installed IE7 (cos you know its a better browser than FF):-) yet complain about it installing security fixes, which is to ensure safety in any case. Well, you no one complains when Norton or Zone Alarm or Adobe fixes a security patch :-)

I think MS rocks...

Anonymous said...

Cool post ... and funny ! I hate Microsoft and IE.

RobRoy said...

MS does rock. They rock so much I feel like my computer is a cleverly carved peice of granite. Yes, it looks nice, and the theory behind it is pretty good, but when someone comes along with a jackhammer just because I have my MS granite computer, and smashes it to peices, it sorta defeats the purpose of having my rocking computer.

Mac is the only way to go. Less than 1% of all viruses are written for Macs. Choosing an MS run PC over Mac is like asking to be injected with Anthrax, AIDS and Avian Flu, just because.

But I guess some people like dying painful deaths. And since there are so many, and the hackers keep targeting them, I can only say ROCK ON!

Anonymous said...

Very funny. Its been some time since I read something and laffed..

Shankari said...


FuzzyLogic. said...

about the clear type.. Its not for CRTs. Its used with smaller size screens and some LCD's to offset aliasing (its basically low level anti-aliasing).