Friday, February 20, 2009

Individual Climate Control

People who purchase cars with individual climate control should just stay single. I mean, if you cannot even agree on what temperature to maintain your car cabin at, your marriage is already doomed. How the heck are you gonna decide on anything, ever? When you adopt a pet, are you gonna get a vertically split half pitbull half chihuahua? Teach your kid to play piano with one hand and strum the guitar with another? And what about those romantic moments? If you're drinking out of the same glass with two straws, will one of you insist on drinking coke from your side of the glass and the other a milkshake?

Does this thing even work? When hot air mixes with cold air, it turns into lukewarm air. Trying to have hot air and cold air in a single confined micro space is physically impossible. As impossible as having hot water and cold water in the same bathtub.

It is simple, really. You're the husband, you lose the fucking jacket because you get hot easily. You're the wife, you put on a fucking jacket because you get cold easily. That is what marriage is about, people, it is about compromise. Maybe if you followed this advice, it would save you a shitload of money on alimony payments. And save some for your mortgage payments. Perhaps bring the economy out of the shitter so that the rest of us can live our lives in peace.


zambezi said...

i dont agree with you on this. my wife and me have totally the opposite cold/warm feelings. she cooks her side of the car and i freeze my side and we have been doing in peace over the past few years. before that we couldnt afford cars with individual controllers. she used to cook me then.

gawker said...

How can you cook one side and warm the other? Is there a plastic sheet that separates the two sides?

gawker said...

I mean freeze the other

Anonymous said...

I'm still laughing from having read the first line.

But you may not be totally right here.. it is, after all, just a hot-or-cold thing

gawker said...

But how can hot and cold climates exist separately in such a micro-environment?

Sujatha Bagal said...

G, it's the blast of air of a certain temperature on your face or feet or whatever. It makes a huge difference. Those directional vents certainly help. It says something about us that the car manufacturers have caught on to this gender disparity.

gawker said...

Really? I always keep the vents pointed away from me. No matter what temperature they are at, it is always uncomfortable if they are pointing at me.

But I guess if all you people with individual climate controls are extolling its virtues, the one person without it, namely me, should probably accept defeat.

Sujatha Bagal said...

Well, we certainly paid for it. May be it's cognitive dissonance. No?

Banno said...

Do they have individual climate control for a/cs in rooms as well? Since, this hot/cold battle continues into the bedroom.

Maybe husbands and wives would be better off sleeping in seperate rooms?? Or using different cars? Or just living seperate lives?

Bud-Wiser said...

Nice post.
But I simply don's agree with

"I mean, if you cannot even agree on what temperature to maintain your car cabin at, your marriage is already doomed. How the heck are you gonna decide on anything, ever?"

Thats a little too much of a reaction :-).
But it was fun read.

gawker said...

Sujatha : Nah...I'm sure it's worth it. By the way, there was a Simpson's episode where Homer sets his control to hot, Lisa sets hers to cold and they create a mini tornado supercell inside the car with lightning and thunder. Perhaps that episode scarred me for life and prejudiced me against individual climate controls.

Banno : Luckily there's something called a heated blanket. I wonder if knowledge of this contraption could save a few marriages.

Chikki : Yeah, I agree. That's a strange statement to make. I wonder if the author was high on something when he made it hehe.