Thursday, January 24, 2008

Name

I hate introducing myself to Americans. I have a weird name, quite normal by Indian standards but weird by American standards.

Let's say my name is Amit which it is not but let's just say it is. The problem arises when I am introducing myself to someone and I shake their hand and say, "I'm Amit". Ten times out of eleven, the other guy responds with "How you doing Amamit?" They think the "I'm" is a part of my name. How could it not be? The rest of my name is weird so what the hell, the I'm doesn't add much weirdness to it. It's got to be a part of my name. It's all Chinese to them anyways.

Does this happen to anyone else? It's become quite irritating. I have come to loathe having to introduce myself to people. I have to prepare myself before every introduction. I tell myself to quit prefacing my name with "I'm" but sometimes, if my guard is down, someone will quickly take advantage by walking up to me and holding out their hand and because I am not mentally prepared and concentrating more on having a good strong handshake, I forget about not adding "I'm" and then the other guy says, "Hey how you doing, Amamit", and I reply, "No goddamnit I'm Amit you fucking jackass" and then the other guy says, "How you doing goddamnitamamityoufuckingjackass. By the way, you have a weird name." and then I go home and apply something cold to my head.

I really love my refrigerator.

10 comments:

zambezi said...

you are a very funny man. I have mastered the art of making people remember my name. i look into their eyes and make sure that they are looking at my lips and then i say SANDEEP breaking my name into SAN and DEEP and stressing on the San as SAAAN and not SUN and deep is pretty simple anyways. No one forgets my name after that. Another reason might be that i am good looking and you are not and you look like that nerdy maniac from a horror movie really doesnt help.

gawker said...

You forget that I am big and strong now and I could break your beauty in half and bury it in my brand new basement. The sump pump cubbyhole comes to mind as a possible receptacle for your remains. By the way are we biking this weekend and lets hope we are not because it's gonna be cold and I have to finish moving the rest of my shit before they throw me out of my apartment.

gawker said...

I disagree on the "AA" bit. Americans would much rather "U" you than "AA". So even though I am actually an "AA", I call myself an "U". The problem is when they "AI" me and then it is out of my control and I have nowhere to go.

Anonymous said...

I dropped the "I'm" long time back when introducing. Just smile, shake their hand and say, Amit.
Its only when introducing to a crowd, that you have to say the I'm. And I found out it works if you actually say "I am" instead of "I'm".

You have an easy name, I dunno why u have the trouble, unless you still introduce yourself as the Antiqrist .... jeje

Slow and loud is the key.

zambezi said...

actually slime is right. you and him have bloody easy names. stop finding excuses to blog.

gawker said...

slime : yes, i just need to remember that. the antiqrist thing only gets me in trouble with tech support on the phone for some stuff where my email ID is still that. it is very funny.

zambezi : it isnt about easy names, it is about weird names. did you even read my post or were you composing your comment even before you finished reading it? I know you were busy thinking about how to introduce your beauty into your comment even as you were reading the first line of my post.

Figlia Bella di Cielo said...

Just dropping by, found you on accident, but it's been an amusing read.

I live in America, by all means I'm American, and although raised Spanish, Americans still mess up my name.

I say "I'm Ericka", but they hear "America"....

Which leaves me introduced as a continent.

Lekhni said...

I am still laughing at Erica's comment. You might have a point if you really were Amit, because then you would be saying "I'm a Mitt". And who wants to be a lady's glove?

But then the Mitts of this world seem to be doing quite well too..

gawker said...

figlia : Let us just thank the Lord that our names aren't "Phibian" and "Oebic Dysentery" respectively. That would have been really embarassing.

lekhni : Well there are worse things to be than a lady's glove such as, say, a football player's jock strap.

Anonymous said...

Amit isnt even that bad of a name, try saying I'm Damir.
It suckssssss.