What

I don't know what to write about. I have a couple of posts I only wrote halfway through because it was becoming apparent that I was taking too long to get to the punchline. But then I remembered that there was no punchline. In fact, I am on the verge of leaving this one written halfway through as well.

I wish I could drink at work. I'm sure I would be twice as productive. That's because I would have to take twice as many bathroom breaks and I do my best thinking in the bathroom. I don't know why I keep calling it a bathroom. I guess it's just a euphemism for a toilet and the word toilet seems vulgar for some reason. Which is why it's puzzling why they call it an "eu de toilette". I would have called it an "eu de bathroomme".

I am currently swamped with the boxes my new work computer arrived in. But it's good that I didn't get rid of them because I already destroyed my new monitor and might have to use one of these boxes to send it back. There was a power surge and everything went black but just before it did, my monitor captured the screen image it was showing, or what is known as an "LCD burn", and now this is what it displays perpetually. And sadly, I was web surfing at the time and the screen capture clearly shows that I was about to click on a hyperlink, lets just say that it was not a hyperlink a decent self-respecting developer would add to his software help file.

I am not much of a tea guy. I usually drink coffee with lots of sugar because it is the sugar I am after, not the coffee. But then I found that coffee makes the colon go whaa? so I started drinking tea for a while. You know, I wasn't aware that you actually have to jiggle the teabags inside the water for it to turn into tea? You learn something new everyday.

I had a very strange conversation with a COMCAST tech support guy the other day. During the fag end of the call, did I say fag, I meant gay end of the call, after all problems had been solved and it was time to hug each other good bye, we both forgot to adhere to the standard tech support goodbye script. This script should usually go as follows :

TS guy : Is there anything else you need assistance with today?
Me : No, thank you.
TS guy : You are welcome. Thank you for calling COMCAST and have a good day.
Me : You too.

Instead, it went :

TS guy : Is there anything else you need assistance with today?
Me : No.
TS guy : You are welcome. Thank you for calling COMCAST.
Me : You too.

It was probably my fault because my not giving him a "thank you" made him keep that "good day" for himself, thus leading to a collapse of civilized society. Next time I'm getting a teleprompter and just to be safe, so should you, Tech support guy.