Cops

The first thing I saw when I entered the Subway parking lot yesterday was two cop cars parked side by side with cops inside. I slid my car into a parking spot but my windows were open because lately, it's been hot like the fucking desert here and I don't like to turn on the air conditioning because I'm trying to conserve gas which rightfully belongs to all those 5 miles per gallon Hummer owners. Poor things. We all need to chip in and contribute in order to keep those guys operational. America, freedom and bare-breasted justice demands it.

So then I was gonna pull up my windows before getting out of the car because I could see a "Raj for Congress" campaign bus parked nearby and politicians being so free with our money and all, what's to stop them from being similarly free with our cars and wives as well?

But then I realized that the cops were there and man, if Raj managed to get away with my car with those cops watching, he surely deserved to own it and not only that, I would even vote for his carjacking ass. So I left the windows open and went inside the Subway. But just as I was ordering my sandwich, who should enter it, the Subway, not the sandwich, but those same goddamned cops. What the fuck, cops, I said to myself, can't I even trust you to spend some time maintaining law and order and keeping an eye on things without getting hungry?

And after a while, with my anger gradually subsiding, I began to think clearly and realized that with cops around and all, today was obviously not a good day for stealing quarters from the cystic fibrosis fund. So I didn't do it and someone with cystic fibrosis probably owes me one. Furthermore, Raj hadn't taken a fancy to my car. I doubt Raj would have been able to drive stick shift anyways. He seems to have been born and brought up in this country because he is quite good looking and he doesn't give other Indians the evil eye. Plus there is a Peter or Paul in his name, I forget which.

PS : I chose cystic fibrosis because of my hypothesis that there was about one chance in a million that one of my readers would know someone with cystic fibrosis and get offended. However, if there is anyone here who does know someone with cystic fibrosis, please let me know, so I can change it to something more obscure like pellagra or goitre, although I am not sure if there are goitre or pellagra foundations.