The wax phone

My next door colleague has found a new way to rattle my nerves. Yes, he is the same one I am hiding my chewing gum from.

I have this phone that's made out of wax which is lying around on my desk. It is not a real phone obviously because it is made out of wax. It is something one of our customers manufactured using the software my company sells. I keep it on my desk in order to bear a living testament to my relevance in the world. Even though when this phone was made, I was not employed with this company. But it doesn't matter because if it were to be made right now, it would be made using software which I had some hand in developing.

Coming back to the wax phone, my colleague is extremely enamored by it. He often drops by my cubicle and after snatching chewing gum from my rage-filled fingers, he asks me to call someone up using the phone. It's not that he is not aware that the phone lacks any actual connecting powers to the outside world. He feels that the premise of dialing someone on a wax phone is hilarious.

He has begun to make about five trips a day to my cubicle to ask me to call people up on my wax phone. Sometimes he wants pizza and needs to use the phone to order pizza and he wants me to call up the pizza place on my wax phone. Sometimes he wants me to get in touch with some customer having problems with our software and he specifically wants me to use the wax phone. Other times he comes in and wants to talk to me about something and asks me to call him up on the wax phone.

The good thing about stuff made out of wax is that it can be melted and poured onto human skin. Hey don't judge me, you have your fantasies, I have mine.