Are you a philanthropist?

When I heard about Warren Buffet's $ 37 billion donation to charity, after the initial long-winded moment of heartbreak during which I finally came to terms with the fact that I wasn't a charity, I went and asked myself a question; Am I also someday going to part with my billions without getting anything in return?

See, the reason why I'm asking myself this question right now is because someday, hopefully soon, I will finally be embarking upon my goal of becoming a multibillionaire. I do not know what achieving this goal would entail, definitely a lot of hard work, maybe a stroke or two of luck, quite possibly some arson, homicide and hey, let's not forget securities fraud. The question is, would going through all this pain and backbreaking labor be worth my time and effort if ultimately I would be giving away all the fruits of my life to someone else who probably won't even be hanging my photograph on their wall?

Also, think about all that time I spend in the grocery store trying to find the cheapest possible crap I can buy that would serve its purpose without causing death or diarrhea in the process. Or all those hours I waste in the mall running from one department store to another, trying to find the same brand of jeans at a lower price in order to save some cash. Does wasting all that time and effort make any sense if someday I would be parting voluntarily with an amount with the purchasing power to buy everybody in the entire continent of Africa a pair of Levi's straight fits?

I wonder if Warren Buffet now looks back and feels wistful about those four minutes of his youth that he spent trying to decide whether to tip the Dominos delivery guy 4 dollars or 3. Or that time when he purchased the piece of steak with the yellow stain on it because it was on sale and then spent all evening retching it up. Or when he decided not to go with alloy wheels for his private jet 'cause that would cost him a million dollars more. But more importantly, I wonder if there is an entire chunk of his life that he now wishes he could have back which he spent trying to earn all that money, all of which he was destined not to possess in the end anyways.

And that is why it is necessary to ask yourself right now : Are you a philanthropist at heart? Do you dream about making the world a better place for other people? Do you indulge in a lot of role-playing sessions with your friends where you ask them to dress up like beggars and stand outside chanting beggar songs and then you let them all inside and serve them soup and they act grateful? And more importantly, is there even the slightest chance of you striking it rich?

Then my advice to you would be to quit trying to get rich, man. Go on, slack off at work. Don't worry about the billions you still have to earn. 'Cause once you get those big bucks you've been dreaming about, you'd be giving 'em away anyways. And then you'll be sorry you wasted all that time earning stuff you never got to spend. All that shit you went through would have been for nothing. God, you're so fucking lucky you have me to advise you on these matters. I just gave you your life back.