I saw something bizarre today in the Subway restaurant near my workplace. Most days I go to that Subway restaurant to get my lunch. In case there's anyone in my audience who just emerged from a coma, just to update you, Subway is a chain of fast food joints in the US and India (I think) that sells sandwiches. And also, hey buddy, you made it! Welcome back to the world. You really need to take a shower.
But coming back to the point, there's this Subway I go to everyday. And if my ethicity-sniffing senses are right, it used to be manned by a Punjabi couple. In case you are a Desi who is thinking of opening an eating joint in the US of A, let me give you a word of advice on behalf of all food-lovers. Please don't. Desis and eating joints don't go well together. This couple was mean, man. First of all, they had this sign dangling very conspiciously on the counter that said "No Subway coupons will be accepted here. Coupon holders will be incinerated and their ashes scattered into the Schuylkill river". See, the problem with a Subway restaurant not accepting coupons is that you basically eliminate 50% of your prospective clientele right there. 'Cause correct me if I'm wrong, but most people who go to a Subway for lunch are those (like me) who have spent all of yesterday evening tearing up every newspaper from last week hunting for a "free 21 Oz drink with every footlong Sub" coupon.
Secondly, the couple was extremely stingy with the veggies. Once there was a guy ahead of me in the queue and he inquired if he could have extra onions on his meat. Paji snapped, "Yes, but it will cost you extra". "C'mon Paji", I told him through telepathic channels, "he's just asking for extra onions, not the crushed diamond dressing. Don't be such a cheapskate".
Plus, the Subway didn't have any employees other than those two. So it took a hell of a long time to get your sandwich. Not surprisingly, the damn thing didn't do a lot of business and pretty soon it was taken over by new management. Now, with the current owners, who are American by the way, you can have as many onions as your breath can withstand. All coupons are welcomed, even those that are a product of your own artistry. Sometimes the owner even offers you a free drink if you're a regular customer. And I'm sure, someday, if you were to request the crushed diamond dressing, they'd bring you a bucketful to dip your face into. As a result, business is now booming and even though the lines are still long, the extra employees they've hired make sure that you get your sandwich in a matter of minutes. Moral of the story : The customer really is king.
Anyways. That was all tangential and not really pertinent to the issue. The strange thing I saw there today was this : a newspaper review of the restaurant hanging on its wall. That's it, that's what I saw. The reason I find this bizarre is because, see, Subways are not really known for their high-end gourmet meals. In fact, one of the basic tenets of a fast food chain such as Subway is that every restaurant in the chain should serve food that is virtually indistinguishable from that served in any other franchise of that chain. So what is the fucking use of a review? And what's it gonna look like anyways?
"The bread .... lets see.. Looked and tasted like Subway bread - 5 stars. The tuna ..... yes, pretty much smelt like Subway tuna - 5 stars. The cheesesteak .. hmmm... much better than what it should have tasted like. Not conforming with Subway standards - 2 stars."
And that's why it was kinda strange. But you know what, if the guy really needed to review an inexpensive fast food chain, 'cause he was too cheap to do a decent restaurant, he should have reviewed McDonalds. 'Cause I often eat there and I really want to know if the McD's near my workplace serves severed fingers with their burgers. Or human blood. That's all the information I really need to know. Screw the taste or how many pickles they put on the bun. Just tell me if there are human organs in my fries or not. Now that's a review I can use.
12 comments:
I was thiking about the same very thing yesterday. Customer service seems to be going down the drain. Immigrants are bringing their culture into the US domestic market. One of the strengths of the US retail market was customer service and that is slowly disintegrating. When we were growing up in India, did you even know what customer service was? I didnt.
Yesterday, we were in the furniture store and later at Taco Bell. Both places were manned by immigrants and customer service was horrible. The taco bell guy was eating at the same time as he was serving and the furniture store guys were behaving like a bunch of retarded children without any decorum or dignity.
I am a racist when it comes to people not doing their job right. Have respect for what you do and hold yourself to high standards. If not you will suck and you will pull everything down around you.
I actually had the completely opposite experience in a Subway across from my graduate school housing that was also run by a Punjabi couple. Not only did they accept all coupons, they would actually offer additional incentives such as discount for university students, mid-week two-for-one specials, the subway stamps (eat 15 get the one free!) and all that.
And if you were a Desi and happened to strike up a conversation with 'Paji', you would get extra attention (some extra veggies, free refills etc).
There was also a Dunkin' Donuts a block away owned by a Gujju family (I gather this is quite common). But they had to leave as they were getting robbed too often.
Somehow I've always had bad experiences with Indian-owned eating joints. Not just here, when I was in Switzerland, I ate at an Indian-owned swiss restaurant even there, and it's the first place I've ever eaten at where the waiter stood and looked over my shoulder at the tip I was pencilling in. And when I gave him the receipt, he actually shoved a finger at what I'd written and asked me to confirm the tip amount. And it was a pretty generous tip too, so I don't know what all that was about.
Maybe he'd never seen a tip that big, and wanted to make certain you weren't bankrupting yourself. It might have been a courtesy.
What we really need to do is start a Non-PC resturaunt. All the Fat, Twice the Guilt. I want dolphin enhanced tuna sandwiches, baby-seal burgers and spotted-owl nuggets. Nothing but surgar, grease and deep-fat-fried-fat.
Strange to read the words 'Subway' and 'restaurant' in the same line. I know technically it IS a restaurant, but I never thought of that place as anything other than a take out joint.
You know where I saw a Subway recently - in Lille, France! I was so thrilled to see it. Subway was my favorite lunch place in the US and I have sorely missed it since moving to Europe (there are only so many hard baguette sandwiches I can consume!)
Desi manned Subways are stingy when it comes to bread. Invariably they give only 4 to 5 inches only when you order a 6 inch. I don't know who gets the bigger piece.
There is a Subway in Bangalore. (actually more than one, but I's talking about this particular one) If I mail ordered by 6 inch sub from Dallas I would get it faster than they take here.
And they charge you 2% extra if you use a credit card. Overpriced sandwiches that cost you more than 150 rupees a meal, and the bastards want to charge you extra if you use a card. I'll never go there again.
Next door, there's this guy who gives me four phulkas and alu mutter for Rs. 60 or so, and down the road there is this darshini that gives me full length south indian meal for Rs. 24. And I can get in, eat, and get out in less than 15 minutes. Subway gaya bhaad mein.
Yeneways. Not all such Indian run places are lousy. There was this Indian restaurant in Worcester (near Boston) that I used to frequent courtesy of my roommate who had taken shapat that he will not eat non Indian food (or so I thought). The restaurant was owned by a sardar and run by this Indian guy who'd jumped ship or something. We ate there often, and every once in a while this jumped-ship guy would refuse our money and tell us "Koi nahin, saala sardar bahut paisa kamaata hai"
In backwater Missourah, there is a Dunkin Donuts owned by an Indian couple. After I ordered a dozen donuts, they still charged me 50 cents for a small water. I always went there though, because they kept their donut racks full stocked.
My problem with Subway is their looong questionnaire.. Starting with which bread, 6-inch or foot-long, to cheese to salad to dressing to chips to soda to small/medium or large cups.. Its frustrating, especially when you are hungry.. And embarassing to first-time visitors.. I prefer Burger king, I tell them "Give me a veggie burger meal" and boom!
How darn atrocious of that fucking Panju couple to behave like that! All in the genes I guess. Gawker, I guess you should look forward to human organs in your food as then you stand a chance to win some money.
Variation in quality of food across different outlets shows only 1 thing- these companies dont implement 6 sigma standards. I once went to an out west trip across 17 states....tell you what the burger you get in a McD in Illinois is completely different to the one in Montana.
I live in Carmel Indiana and the Subway down the street from me is run by Indians I think they are Patels. The store is a hit or miss. Sometimes you go there and the bread is old, the store never has the air conditioning on and the lady that owns the place is very rude. One time I saw her yelling at employees in front of customers. You could tell they were embarrassed, but I think she embarrassed herself.
I have been through your article, you have provided very useful information. Yes I agree with you that some sub way restaurants will not accept Subway Coupons,but most of them will accept these coupons.
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