More on Acadia

Since a couple of my readers are travelling to Acadia National Park next week for a vacation, I will do my part as the honorary unappointed director of the Maine Tourism Bureau by posting a couple of my pictures from the time I spent there. I will also provide mostly useless commentary.

Those are boats floating outside of Bar Harbor (pronounced Baa Haabaa in New Englandese), one of the three or four harbor towns in the park. It is one of the few places in the USA that has an exclusively vegetarian restaurant right in the town square with a view of the ocean. I don't remember the food but I do remember that I had organic beer. Organic beer has a much better taste than regular beer because it is much more expensive. Bar Harbor is always crowded in the evenings with hungry hikers and restaurants are pretty much full so remember to bring your machette along when you go out to eat. Fish is a good choice, especially lobster which is not really a fish but a bug and a close relative of the cockroach family as Alton Brown helpfully reminds us, thereby making us lose our appetites.

The other harbor in the park is Bass Harbor, which has the most photographed lighthouse in Maine (or so I have heard) and also the lighthouse most linked to by this blog. In fact, you know what, lets just designate the Bass Harbor Lighthouse as the official lighthouse of this blog.

This is Echo Lake. It is accessible via a short hike from the road or a long hike from the road depending upon whether you are also being accompanied by one or more women. Its name originates from the fact that if you face those hills in the distance and yell out your name, you will fail to hear an echo.

This is a place called Thunder Hole. Or as the native tribes who lived there long before the White Man made an appearance called it, "Place Where Man Stand For Long Time In Hope Of Hearing Thunder But Hear Wind Rustling Through Pubic Hair Instead".

That is Tom and with him is Dick. A few seconds later, Tom pushes Dick off the cliff due to his everlasting love for Dick's wife. To a bystander, Evil Tom doesn't go well with the serene innocence of the surrounding landscape.

This is the innovatively named Sand Beach, which nestles on Acadia's east side. You know how most beaches have the problem of being too warm, thus forcing you to stay in the water and then you lose track of time and the tide comes in, sweeps you out to sea and feeds you to the fishes? Well, fret no more, 'cause this beach doesn't have any such issues. The water is so fucking cold that it is used by the US Department of Corrections to cryogenically freeze convicted murderers so that they can break out in the year 2075 and terrorize your grandchildren.

This is not Acadia. But this is where you feel you are, as you stand on that beach shivering like a just-escaped cryogenically frozen murderer.


This is what you should be wearing on Sand Beach.


And this is where it should have come from.

On a final note, remember, if you are camping out in one of Acadia's numerous campgrounds, it is illegal to harvest campfire wood from the trees surrounding your tent. Instead, it is much more convenient to steal it from your neighbouring tent along with all the food and alcohol you'll need.