.....every fucking thing you buy in the grocery store has a picture of the senile old philanthropist on it. You know, the fat old socialist who goes around during Christmas sliding through chimneys and redistributing wealth. Even the toilet paper I buy has his picture on it. Now it might just be me, but when I apply something to my nether regions, I would much rather it not have a face on it, especially that of a cheerful old man with a white beard. Too many coprophagic implications.
And then today, I buy this coke can from the vending machine, which again has Santa's face on it. Except the fucking thing says "Holidays 2004" on it. 2004? So they brought out last year's coke stash for this year's holiday season? You know, I would much rather drink from a fresh batch of coke not emblazoned with Santa's face, than be force-fed something a year old just because it contains a reference to upcoming merry times. Christmas and coke have nothing to do with each other, get it? Christmas is a festive occasion you use to justify binge drinking. And no one binge drinks on coke.
1 comment:
It was a month or two back that I read 'Adventures in Pune traffic and clubbing' and I loved it. I sadly never returned for more. I've been checking your tweets which reminded me that you are a funny fella. So I'm back and now that I'm back I've decided to start reading from your first post. I've liked what I've read so far so I think I'm in for a good time. Cheers.
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