Dear Sarah Palin,
Have you ever been in a position where you were running for vice president and being interviewed on a network special and the host asked you a question about the current president's foreign policy and because you didn't know what the fuck he was talking about, you came off looking like a goddamn retard on television?
We at dummies.com have come up with a book specifically to avoid such a situation. It is called "Foreign Policy for Dummies" and we currently have a running special where, if you are a vice presidential candidate, you would only have to pay shipping and handling. The reason being, we are an American company and when John McCain keels over and dies in his second year as president, it would be in our best interests for you to have our book as a reference.
This book is beautifully illustrated with pictures of various farmyard animals. It is in large type and contains only words of a single syllable. It has an extended glossary with definitions of various obscure words and phrases you might come in contact with during your term as vice president such as "Sunni", "Shia", "The Bush Doctrine", "Iraq", and "Vice President".
The back cover of the book also doubles as a honorary Vice-Presidential diploma that you will receive once you manage to read the book to the very end. Just tear it off, get it framed and hang it on the wall of your office. Frame not included. Now when anyone in the liberal media asks you about your qualifications for the second-most important job position in the world, you can show it to them with pride and confidence.
All the best and we look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Dummies.com
8 comments:
What if she rips off the last page without reading the entire thing?
How do you expect her to read this? all of this should be in easily readable mono syllable words.
P.S: loved the fine print in between. Absolutely loved it.
Fuckin Hilarious mate!!! Just cant wait to see her taking the oath!! Meanwhile do you have any books on Presidency as I believe she's only a heartattack away from it...
But she has "executive experience". EXECUTIVE. EXPERIENCE.
Yay!! you are doing political satire again!
Oh and make sure the book spells 'nuclear' and 'new clear'. She is after all Bush with lipstick.
She's a little worse than Bush with lipstick. She appears to have a brain. She just CHOOSES to not use it.
rukmani : Yes that is an excellent point. I shall resubmit this letter to my editors and ask them to make the necessary changes.
anonymous : Thank you. We ran out of our Presidency books. John McCain kept buying them and forgetting that he bought them.
robroy : Come on now, accusing a woman of not being VP material is sexist.
meenu : Yes, good point. I never thought I would say this, but when I think about the McCain Palin presidency, I feel somewhat nostalgic aboutthe past eight years.
robroy : Yes she is pro-choice in that respect.
Looking from outside - wrt the past 2 elections,one might draw the conclusion that americans are tired of being the biggest superpower in the world and they want to be something more anonymous.
Electing McCain-Palin would look more like the logical followup.
How bad would it be if the US threw out the Monroe Doctrine and all the ilk it has spawned, and just stayed home for the next 20 years?
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