NCAAB

We have an office NCAA basketball sweepstake. I drew Western Kentucky (12), Villanova (12), Temple (12), San Diego (13), Mississippi Valley State (16) and Tennessee (3). All but Villanova have been eliminated. Mississippi Valley State? What the fuck is that? Anyways, the good news is that I won the prize given each year for drawing the most no. 12th ranked teams. I would like to thank my parents, God, Richard Dawkins and the number 11.

All my no. 12s except Temple made it through the first round. I sent off the following celebratory email to my colleagues. This was also a threat disguised as stupidity.

"No matter how many No. 12s get eliminated from my team, I will still have a few more left. Go No. 12."

Then the second round began and UCLA kicked out Western Kentucky (ranked no.12). But despite my respect for the number 12, the highest hopes I had were from Tennessee. Tennessee, ranked at no. 3 was my best option. But last night, against Louisville, they really ucked it up, both s and motherf. At one point, Tennessee did not score a single basket for about ten minutes. Perhaps they have bigger baskets in Tennessee. The cheerleaders continued to cheer for their team but it was like watching the orchestra continue to play on the deck as the Titanic went down. Except Tennessee was like a small fishing boat, captained by George Clooney and being savaged by the Perfect Storm of Louisville.

Today my only remaining hope, no.12th ranked Villanova will be playing someone. I think it's no.1 ranked Kansas. It might be someone else for all I know. I don't know and I don't care. As it is, I can barely stand watching basketball. But 100 dollars worth of change is involved so I am trying to keep up.

It's good that Villanova is my final hope. If they lose, I can always drive to their campus and shout obscenities in their chapel. It's a beautiful chapel. Very peaceful.